Love and Popcorn Fumes
Here are some things you may or may not know. The internet told me about these things.
a) From LiveScience
College boys place a higher priority on romantic relationships than college girls do. Silly boys!
b) From BBC News
Men are into attractive ladies. Hotness is at the top of their list of…choosing…thingies. Women like attractive men, but consider other factors, like financial security, much more than men do.
Men will choose as attractive a lady as possible, while women tend to go with someone who is as attractive as she is. If he’s got, say, loads of cash, less attractive will do just fine.
Men will also pick as many ladies as they can. Women…not so much. They are much choosier, presumably because they get stuck lugging the fetus around.
c) BBC News again.
Kisses mean different things to men than they do to women. Women use kisses to evaulate potential mates, for bonding, and to assess how their relationship is going. Men use kisses to get sex. Pretty much. They’ll kiss, you know, like, whoever is around. O, and they like wet, sloppy, tonguey kisses. I swear - the internet says so! It also says, once again, that women are choosier than men. The internet seems to be indicating that women have better taste than men, at least as far as mating is concerned.
d) From Yahoo news
Stay the hell away from microwave popcorn. The fumes could KILL YOU. Maybe. Looks like.
It’s the buttery topping/flavor. It’s already been established that the buttery-goodness, a/k/a goop with diacetyl in it, can cause “popcorn lung” in those working at microwave popcorn factories (and other food factories that also use diacetyl-flavored flavoring). For further details on this, please see the Angry Toxicologist.
Scientists and doctors and other important, white-coated types think that diacetyl exposure leads to a lung condition known as bronchiolitis obliterans. As in obliterated in the bronchio-parts.
So yeah, today it comes out that this doctor, Dr. Cecile Rose (some sorta fancy lung-type doctor a/k/a pulmonologist or pulmonary specialist), thinks a patient of his, who ate several bags o’ “extra buttery” microwave popcorn every day for years and years and years, Dr. Rose thinks that maybe the buttery topping caused his patient’s lungs to get all obliterated. Dr. Rose and his team of helpers measured the levels of diacetyl in the patient’s home and everything. The levels were pretty high.
The public health blog, The Pump Handle broke this story today. Hooray for The Pump Handle!
The Pump Handle is totally friends with one of my favorite blogs (another public health blog), Effect Measure.
The reason why The Pump Handle is called The Pump Handle is as follows (from their site):
“The story of the pump handle is familiar to any first-semester public health student: During the London cholera epidemic of 1854, John Snow examined maps of cholera cases and traced the disease to water from a local pump. At the time, the prevailing theory held that cholera spread through the air, rather than water, so Snow faced criticism from others in the science community – not to mention resistance from the water companies. He finally convinced community leaders to remove the pump’s handle to prevent further exposure.”
Isn’t that a nice story? I think that it is a lovely bedtime story.
The end.
To sum up, if you’re getting kissed by a lady, remember that she’s sort of kissing you with her brain, at least, more brain than tongue. You should feel lucky, ’cause ladies don’t just kiss anybody. Even so, you’re probably not any more attractive than she is. Most likely, she’s using her mouth to suss out how well you are able to support her, emotionally and materially, should she wind up with a fetus inside of her.
O, and stay away from extra buttery microwave popcorn!
ps - in case you don’t know what a fetus looks like, here’s a peek. This is a four month old fetus:
CDC Public Health Image Library, Image 1666
jdg1@cdc.gov, 1998
I think that’s worth, at the very least, some good kissing.
My, fetus, what a big mandible you have! My, what a whip-like spine/tail/leg-section you have, tiny fetus!
microwave popcorn, attraction, men, women, college, tongue, kissing, attractive, love, diacetyl, Pump Handle, Effect Measure, romance, buttery, topping, flavor, popcorn lung, Angry Toxicologist, bronchiolitis obliterans, fetus, Cecile Rose
